Source: Life Science

Some 95 percent of male mammals have little to no interaction with their children. Homo sapiens are one of the most notable exceptions, leading some scientists to think fatherhood is an important part of what makes us human.

Most theories for the family involvement of fathers invoke the familiar “Man the Hunter” characterization, in which dad protects and provides for his young.

While fathers do play key roles in securing the physical health of their children, they also can be important for the optimum development of psychological and emotional traits considered to be primarily human, such as empathy, emotional control and the ability to navigate complex social relationships.

Unlike many other animals, humans need their fathers well beyond the act that leads to conception, researchers are coming to realize.

Paternal prep school

There is plenty of time for this emotional hand-off. While other primate babies can fend for themselves in roughly a decade, human childhood stretches 18 to 20 years, said David Geary of the University of Missouri and author of “Male, Female: Evolution of Human Sex Differences” (American Psychological Association, 1998).

Also, anthropologists speculate that the relative helplessness of human children has made multiple caregivers a vital necessity — that encourages bringing dad into the picture. Even today, in both traditional and industrialized communities, a father’s presence correlates with improved health and decreased child mortality, Geary said.

Evolutionarily speaking, he added, the kid-phase probably lengthened as dads got more involved. With an extra person dedicated to caring for them, kids have no need to rush towards adulthood.

Perhaps out of worry for their kids’ future financial security, dads across human cultures mostly focus on preparing children to compete within society. They give advice, encourage academic success and stress achievement, Geary said. But it is not all lesson plans and lectures.

Kids also learn from fathers during a unique form of papa play. Unlike mothers, fathers tend to roughhouse with their children.

“They rile them up, almost to the point that they are going to snap, and then calm them down,” Geary said.

This pattern teaches kids to control their emotions — a trait that garners them popularity among superiors and peers, he said.

Parenting for the grandkids

Good fathers are rewarded with quality family relationships across the board, Geary said.

When children have warm relationships with their father, as well as calm home lives, they tend to sexually mature later. Their bodies intuit they are safe and time is taken perfecting social skills before entering the real world, Geary said.

The extra practice gives children a competitive edge. As adults, they are more likely to form secure relationships, achieve stable social standing and become able parents. In this sense, a father who takes care of his children also gives his grandchildren a leg up.

Not that involved dads must wait to be grandpas to reap rewards from pitching in with childcare. In addition to experiencing the tenderness of the father-child bond, many dads gain a feeling of camaraderie by providing support for mom. Also, the more help a mother receives after giving birth, the faster she becomes fertile again.

Being raised by more than one person also enhances social skills, theorizes anthropologist Sarah Hrdy, author of “Mothers and Others” (Belknap Press, 2009). Children not only grow up more emotionally secure, they are better at taking another’s perspective — a skill critical to our socially-reliant species.

In traditional communities, especially during infancy, extra caregivers are usually female kin, such as grandmothers and aunts, Hrdy writes. But in nuclear families, fathers play this role.

When father-child relations are strained or chaotic, the insecurity can translate biologically as a message to grow up fast, Geary said. There is an unconscious sense that “if you are going to reproduce at all, you better start early,” he said. As a result, girls reach menarche sooner and form clingy relationships, while boys become aggressive and sexually exploitive.

This rarely bodes well for the next generation.

Biological roots of paternalism

The emotional contribution of dads might have some biological roots. Despite conventional wisdom, men experience biological changes during a pregnancy, albeit not as extensively as women do.

Men who are emotionally close to — and usually cohabiting with — a pregnant woman, go through their own hormonal surges, especially just before and after birth, said David Bjorklund of Florida Atlantic University. For example, a new father has elevated levels of the hormone prolactin — usually associated with lactation in women — that trigger his nurturing instinct.

This may be evolution’s way of ensuring more constant care for a baby that is more dependent and demanding than any other newborn in the animal kingdom.

Source: IOL

A new study on basic education released on Wednesday paints a bleak picture of roughly two thirds of junior primary school children being functionally illiterate and innumerate, a statistic that grows to 73 percent innumerate when pupils reach Grade 4.

The SA Child Gauge 2008/2009, an annual review of the situation of children in the country conducted by UCT’s Children’s Institute (CI), shows that while the country has a very high rate of enrolment in grades one to nine, they are often not receiving “meaningful access to education, or meaningful learning outcomes”.

Focusing on the theme of “meaningful access to basic education”, the publication looks at a range of factors that can enable or hamper children’s access to and progress through school.

Meaningful access to education, said the Children’s Institute’s Shirley Pendlebury, requires among other things access to well-conceived text books and other learning materials; competent and prepared teachers who are able to use a range of appropriate classroom practices; a curriculum that builds a strong basis in the foundation phase; teaching facilities and resources such as laboratories and well-stocked libraries; and a safe and supportive environment.

“Ninety-six percent of children of compulsory school age are enrolled in school, yet poor national averages for language and mathematics in grades 3 and 6 show that most learners do not acquire the skills and understanding that give substance to the right to education.”

Only 36% of grade 3 pupils passed the literacy and 35% the numeracy assessments in 2007, according to the preliminary findings.

The situation for grade 6 learners is worse: the national average for language of literacy teaching was 38%, and for mathematics only 27%.

A Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) study shows that the development of literacy is hampered by children not reading enough; and the lack of specific and good literacy instruction, linked to the qualification of teachers and the quality of their training.

The HSRC’s Cas Prinsloo said: “Children also experience difficulties when switching too abruptly from mother-tongue to a different language of learning and teaching”.

Children from poor homes and communities were therefore disadvantaged by the lack of learning opportunities.

Paula Ensor, Professor of Education and Dean of Humanities at UCT, said a solid foundation in numeracy was just as critical for further learning. This can only be achieved if teachers understand how children learn numbers.

However, the Count One Count All research project of UCT and Cape Peninsula University of Technology found that teachers often used inappropriate numeracy teaching strategies, and that pupils did little independent written work.

When it comes to physical access to schools, the South African Child Gauge 2008/2009 presents some interesting research findings on who is not at school, why children are dropping out of school, and the enabling effect of funding and school fee policies.

An analysis of the 2007 Community Survey by the School of Education, University of the Witwatersrand (Wits), suggests that poverty and school fees are unlikely to be a sufficient explanation for why children are not in school.

They fall into five broad, but inter-related, categories: Children with disabilities; children with one or both parents dead or their whereabouts unknown; children not living with a relative; children in households eligible for social grants but who do not receive them; and children living on farms and in small towns in the Southern Cape or central Karoo.

“It is not always the poorest provinces where the most children are out of school – we found that Gauteng, Northern and Western Cape provinces had the largest proportion of children out of school”, said Brahm Fleisch, professor at Wits.

Similarly, research by the Education Policy Unit, also at Wits, found that absolute poverty does not directly contribute to absence from school, though it could cause late entry, and slow progress.

Instead, relative poverty – how children experience their poverty in relation to others – and social exclusion are key drivers of drop-out in grades one to nine, while the poor quality of education is associated with the drop in attendance rates for grades 10 -12 when children no longer see education as useful or worth staying in school for.

There is evidence, however, that the government’s no-fee schools policy goes some way in improving access to education, according to the study.

Research commissioned by the Alliance for Children’s Entitlement to Social Security has found that the policy has resulted in increased revenue for no-fee schools, while also relieving the burden of school fees on poor caregivers. But the CI’s Katharine Hall said increased funding did not imply sufficient funding, or necessarily results in quality improvements.

“Many schools still operate on a budget that does not allow for the delivery of quality education or the provision of school infrastructure that assists learning. More importantly, school funding excludes teacher salaries, which limits the impact on learner outcomes.”

An analysis of education budgets by the Institute of Democracy in South Africa (Idasa) found that the government’s moderation of expenses on teacher salaries had resulted in increased spending on infrastructure, textbooks and school funding, grade R and special needs schools.

There is greater and more equal national and provincial spending on education, though it is not necessarily successful in addressing backlogs.

Idasa’s Russell Wildeman said: “These changes have helped create a more ‘balanced’ education budget, but little has been done to improve teacher salaries and overall working conditions until the introduction of Occupation Specific Dispensation for educators in 2008. It remains to be seen whether increased investment in educators will translate into improved educational outcomes for children.”

The right to basic education in South Africa is guaranteed by the Constitution.But Pendlebury pointed out that rights on paper did not necessarily translate into rights on the ground.

“Children’s right to education will only be realised when government meets the educational needs of all children in South Africa. The current failures of the education system are unacceptable and threaten to undermine the promise of democracy and freedom.

“A critical question is how the new Ministry of Basic Education is going to respond to these challenges. Ongoing dialogue and debate is needed to mobilise public support and ensure that the right to education is realised.”

http://www.tulsaworld.com/webextra/content/2009/homeschool/part01.aspx

* Story by Michael Overall, Staff Writer
* Video by Mike Simons, Staff Photographer
* Photos by James Plumlee

Part one of a two-part series.

Friends at college don’t always know what to think when they ask Chris Byrd where he went to high school.

“Really? You were home-schooled? Why aren’t you a freak?”

In Oklahoma, by some estimates, 33,000 children are facing that kind of question. If home schools were a district of their own, it would be twice the size of Broken Arrow Public Schools, and three times the size of Jenks.

“They expect you to be so socially awkward that you can’t function away from home,”

Byrd says. “And some home-school kids are like that.”

Maybe the ultimate test for home-schooling is whether it continues for a second generation. Will Byrd and other home-school graduates do what their parents did? Will they home-school their own children?

Byrd hesitates.

“I’ll have to think about it . . . .”

On a sunny afternoon in the middle of a school week, they come marching through the woods in tight formation, five abreast and three deep, breaking ranks only to walk around a tree trunk or to step over a rock.

“Stay together,” one teenager orders the rest, all of them armed with water pistols or Super Soakers. “Stay close.”

Meanwhile, badly outnumbered, a second group sneaks into Heller Park from the north and quietly splits up, crouching one-by-one behind bushes or camouflaging themselves with tree branches and fallen leaves.

They wait for the first group to march blindly into range. Then, with a shout that echoes through the trees, they spring out of hiding and open fire.

Streams of water shoot through the air from all directions.

“You’re dead!”

“No, you’re dead!”

“No, you are!”

The first group’s commander calls for his troops to hold formation, but under a relentless barrage of stinging cold water, their ranks falter and soon they’re running south in full retreat.

Drenched but victorious, the second group celebrates by turning their water guns on each other until a parent intervenes.

“The war is over,” Renee Janzen declares. “Put down your weapons.”

Recreating a battle from the French and Indian War of the mid-18th century, the first group simulated the tactics of the British Redcoats, disciplined and orderly , while the second group played the part of the French irregulars and their ragtag Indian allies.

“The lesson here,” Janzen explains as everybody begins to dry off, “is that sometimes a group of determined amateurs can outmaneuver the well-trained professionals.” Instead of sitting in class somewhere, these teenagers are fighting their own kind of insurgency, breaking free of public education and drawing more and more families into their ranks.

Once scattered and unstructured, the home-school movement has evolved into an elaborate network of alliances and partnerships, decentralized but well-funded — and tenaciously determined to remain independent of any state regulation.

In Oklahoma, by some estimates, the size of the home-school movement now overshadows the combined enrollments of all private schools put together.

With no government oversight, no taxpayer funding and no professional accreditation, they’re trying to out-school the schools.
‘Something like this’

Arms raised above her head in a dramatic “V,” the ballerina’s eyebrow curves gently into her nose, one continuous line that abruptly turns 90 degrees just above the mouth. Matisse painted her in the early 1900s. And now these seventh- and eighth-graders, palletes smeared with freshly mixed colors and brushes scattered across their desks, are trying to copy it.

“He was interested in simple, bold shapes,” the teacher explains to everyone. “You can worry about the details later.”

Next door, a teacher is walking eighth-graders through an algebra equation.

Across the hall, the yearbook committee is sorting through class photos.

Around the corner, the debate team is practicing for this weekend’s match.

And downstairs in the gymnasium, middle-school boys are running laps.

It looks like a school. Sounds like a school. Even smells like a school, with a nostalgic blend of Magic Markers and bathroom disinfectant.

“It is a school,” confirms Teresa Poore, the coordinator. “It’s a school where the parents are totally in charge.”

Five years ago, the Heartland Home Educators included maybe a dozen families, with the parents taking turns to teach the classes.

“It was fine,” Poore says, “but some of us decided that we needed something more academically challenging.”

So they hired professional tutors, adopted a new curriculum from Christian private schools, and moved — rent-free — into the empty Sunday school rooms at Owasso’s First Assembly of God.

“It turns out that a lot of parents were looking for something like this,” Poore says, pointing at a thick folder of enrollment sheets on her desk.

More than 150 students now attend Heartland, but it’s not even the biggest home-school group in Owasso, never mind Tulsa.

Some groups dwarf the size of this one.

Known as “education co-ops,” thousands of schools like Heartland have sprung up in recent years across the country, with local Web sites listing dozens in the Tulsa area alone. Even towns the size of Enid, Muskogee and Lawton will have several to choose from. And with enrollments that can easily match a “real” school, co-ops can offer opportunities that used to be out of reach for home-school students — team sports, school choirs, even marching bands.

“There’s nothing public school can do,” Poore insists, “that home school can’t do too.”
‘It’s working’

Curled up barefoot on the couch, Madison Poore opens a math textbook on her lap and begins copying today’s lesson.

When she glances over her shoulder, she can look out the living room window and see Owasso High School on the other side of a neighborhood pond.

“I could walk there in, like, two minutes,” Madison chuckles at the irony. “I could open the back door and yell ‘Hello’ to my friends.”

At 14, she’s never been to school, at least not in the traditional sense. The Heartland co-op gives her an authentic classroom experience, but it meets only two days a week.

Like Matisse painting a ballerina, the Heartland tutors offer only a broad outline of a week’s lesson. Then Madison spends the rest of the week filling in the details for herself.

“People think home-school means being taught by your mother,” she says. “It’s really more about teaching yourself. It’s homework, homework, and more homework.”

On a typical Monday morning, her 13-year-old sister, Kayla, is reading at the dining room table, while mom and 5-year-old Jackilyn stay in the master bedroom using flash cards to learn vocabulary.

“I’ve wondered what it would be like, going to school,” Madison admits. “But my friends who do go to school are jealous. They’re like, ‘Man, I wish I was home-schooled like you.”

Maybe they wouldn’t be quite so envious if they could see what it’s really like.

The TV stays off and the computer is strictly for school work.

When the phone rings, Madison can answer it and talk to her friend for a minute, but her mother quickly rushes her back to the math lesson.

Hour after hour, she spends all morning on the couch with one textbook or another.

“If people think we’re here just goofing off all day,” Madison says as her mother walks into the room to check on her progress. “They have no idea.”

Back when she was just old enough for kindergarten, the family was living in Norman, where they visited the neighborhood elementary school.

“They were bursting at the seams,” Poore remembers while frying bacon for today’s lunch. “I couldn’t believe how crowded it was. Would my child ever get any attention?”

Click below to listen to Teresa Poore.

Her sister and brother-in-law were home-schooling their children at the time, but Poore didn’t approve.

“It just wasn’t something I believed in,” she says, handing a sandwich to Kayla. “Children should be in school. What makes you think you could do it better yourself?”

After seeing the school in Norman, Poore decided she couldn’t do worse. But it was supposed to be temporary, a stopgap until they could afford a private school or maybe move into a better district.

“I still think of it as temporary, in a way,” Poore says, even after 10 years.

“Sometimes, I think about enrolling them in school, especially this one,” she says, patting her youngest daughter on the head as they both eat.

“We’ll see. I would never say that home-school is the only way, or that home-school is something that everybody should do.

“I’m just saying that for us, for right now, it’s working.”
‘Hands off’

Nobody knows just how many families are home-schooling their children in Oklahoma, because under state law families don’t have to notify anybody they’re doing it.

“If you want to home-school your children, all you have to do is not enroll them,” explains Shelly Hickman at the Oklahoma State Department of Education. “There’s no way to count how many children aren’t there.”

She can only point to figures from the U.S. Department of Education. Based on various nationwide surveys, federal officials estimate that 3 percent of American children are being home-schooled, which would amount to 18,000 children in Oklahoma.

On second thought, however, Hickman can suggest a roundabout way to count home-schoolers after all. And her method will suggest a significantly higher percentage in this state.

First, take the number of school-age residents from recent U.S. Census data: roughly 648,000 children in Oklahoma.

Now subtract the total enrollment figures from all Oklahoma public school districts: approximately 587,000.

Finally, take out the total enrollment from private schools: 28,000, according to The Heritage Foundation.

That leaves 33,000 children unaccounted for, or roughly 5 percent of the school-age population.

“Presumably,” Hickman concludes, “that’s approximately the number of kids in home-school.”

Under law, the state can set no standards for those children, can measure no progress and keep no records.

“We’re totally hands off,” Hickman emphasizes. “We have no jurisdiction at all.”
‘Won’t go away’

Tucked into a windowless office in the back of a computer store in Tahlequah, state Sen. Jim Wilson has to dig behind stacks of paper and manila folders to find the ringing telephone on his desk.

The voice mail won’t pick up because the voice mail is already full — Wilson has lost count of how many people have been calling to protest.

“Three hundred? 400?” he shrugs. “It doesn’t matter.”

He keeps thinking, instead, about just one phone call last year, when a grandmother contacted Wilson to complain about her granddaughter’s education.

Despite being mentally disabled herself, the young girl’s mother had withdrawn the child from school . And truancy officers couldn’t do anything about it because the mother claimed to be home-schooling.

“What she was really doing,” Wilson says, “is following a boyfriend around all day. This child wasn’t getting any kind of education at all.”

Without any way of tracking the children, Wilson can only guess how many families might be faking home-school. But he’s guessing it happens a lot.

“I’ll stipulate that nine out of 10 people who say they’re home-schooling are really doing it, and they’re doing a great job of it. I’ll stipulate that all these kids are going to grow up to be National Merit scholars, OK? All of them. Fine.

“That still leaves thousands of children being abused, because that’s what I think it is when you’re not giving a child an education — it’s child abuse. And I’m not going to just stand by and watch it happen.”

Written by Wilson, Senate Bill 308 would’ve given school districts the authority to investigate parents who claim to be home-schooling, and take them to court if there’s not sufficient evidence of real lessons being taught.

“This really has nothing to do with people who are home-schooling,” Wilson insists. “This is about people who aren’t home-schooling, but are using it as an excuse to neglect their children.”

Nonetheless, home-school families nationwide rallied to fight both bills, flooding Oklahoma lawmakers with phone calls and e-mails from as far away as California and the East Coast.

This month, the proposal died in committee without even a hearing.

When it comes to lobbying, home-schoolers have a well-funded, highly organized army, marching lockstep into battle, Wilson says.

In this fight, he’s part of the outnumbered, outgunned militia, fighting against the odds. “And you know what?” Wilson shrugs. “That’s OK.”

Because, with enough determination, the underdog can win — eventually.

“This issue won’t go away,” Wilson promises. “If it doesn’t pass this year, it will come back again and again, because the problem is too big and too serious to ignore.”

State laws regarding home schooling

Ten states, including Oklahoma, take a completely hands-off approach to home schools, subjecting them to no government regulation at all.

On the other side of the spectrum, half a dozen states — mostly in the Northeast — have strict standards, in some cases requiring parents to become certified as teachers or to use state-approved curriculum.

The other 34 states fall widely in between, some requiring home-school parents to register with local school districts and others demanding to see test scores. The Homeschool Legal Defense Association keeps track of all these differences with a color-coded map.

Green states have little or no regulation for home schools, while red states impose strict regulation, and various shades of orange mark the states in between.

Over the long term, the country seems to be turning more green.

“The trend is toward less government regulation and more freedom for home schools,” says Thomas Schmidt, an attorney for the HLDA, based in Virginia.

“Legislators, in general, are getting more comfortable with the idea of home-schooling because it has been around for more than a generation now, and there’s no evidence of it causing a problem.”

* Michael Overall 581-8383
* michael.overall@tulsaworld.com

10 Big Mistakes Parents Make
While we all love our kids, in this day and age of two working parents and insane schedules, we tend to cut corners and neglect important things. That being said, here are 10 big mistakes parents make.
By Craig Playstead

1) Spoiling kids
There is no doubt that parents love their kids and want them to have all the things they didn’t. However, this comes at a price. A ton of well-intentioned parents have ended up spoiling their kids to such a degree that the kids aren’t even happy with all the stuff they have. This causes them to never be satisfied and always want more. Junior doesn’t need one more piece of crap, what he needs is some special time with his parents. Think of it this way: How will they ever be prepared for disappointment throughout their life—or learn to be thankful for anything?

2) Inadequate discipline
When you’re too lazy to adequately discipline your kids, you pass the little devil you’ve created on to your relatives, coaches, teachers, and his friends’ parents. It’s not OK to let your kids treat your house like it was a Jump Planet because that’s exactly how they’ll treat other people’s homes. They should also be much better behaved when they leave the house and visit elsewhere. I’ve lived through this nightmare first-hand, with the same kid at my house treating my $1,500 couch like a trampoline, and then calling my daughter “ugly” while the kids were eating dinner. All within a 15-minute span. If you don’t discipline your kid, someone else will—and you won’t like it.

3) Failing to get involved at school
School is where your kids will spend more time than any place besides your home. It’s also the place that will have the most responsibility for shaping their life—from teachers and their peers. That being said, how can you not want to be involved in what’s going on there? It doesn’t matter if it’s you or your spouse: Your family needs to have a presence at that school. And don’t use work as an excuse—take a vacation day if you need to. You’ll see immediately that it’s time well spent. You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher. It’s a great way for that teacher to see that you’re interested in your child’s development, and the teacher can alert you to anything concerning that may be going on with your son or daughter. Your kid’s teacher may take a much more active role with your child if they know you’re keeping close tabs.

4) Praising mediocrity
While we all want to encourage our kids to do well and build their self-esteem, there is a point of going too far. Building a child’s self-esteem is great, but having a big party for a mediocre accomplishment skews what they view as a real achievement. One big place I see this is in sports. A participation trophy for anyone over the age of 6 just ends up devaluing the meaning of a real trophy. It’s happening in my own household. While I was against trophies for my 7-year-old son’s basketball team, a few moms overruled. My son has played exactly four seasons of sports and has earned more trophies than I did in my 40 seasons growing up. Something is out of whack.

5) Not giving kids enough responsibility
Your kids shouldn’t be expecting any payment for doing chores around the house. It’s a home, not a hotel. That being said, an allowance is a great idea … for extra work. They should be pulling their weight as part of the family. If they grow up without enough responsibility, how in the world do you expect them to hold down a job, or get through college? When they get “of age,” make sure they’re taking some of the burden off you around the house—from unloading the dishwasher to picking up dog crap in the backyard. While they’re not your slaves, they sure aren’t on vacation, either.

6) Not being a good spouse
How you treat your husband or wife is very important to the way your kids will develop relationships, especially as adults. If you treat your spouse poorly, or if your only way to settle any kind of dispute is to yell and scream at each other, you’re teaching your kids to handle themselves the same way. Kids learn from watching you much more than they learn from listening to you. If you treat your spouse with love and respect, it will also show your kids the value of their family. It will also make them feel their family is a safe haven in what can be a dark, scary world.

7) Setting unreal expectations
When dealing with kids, you need to set reasonable expectations for them—especially the little ones. If you want to go out to a nice dinner and expect your 2-year-old to sit there like a little prince, you are setting yourself up for major disappointment. Also, if you have visions of a football star and your son weighs 80 pounds and likes to play the clarinet, you need to reset those expectations. Don’t have unreal expectations for your kids: The expectation you should have is for them to be happy.

8) Not teaching kids to fend for themselves
Many parents tend to baby kids these days and cater to their every need, and that eliminates the value of hard work and becoming independent as they grow into adults. I fear that we’re raising a generations of wimps. Kids nowadays expect everything to be done for them, from cleaning their room to band-aids for hurt feelings. Teaching them to toughen up and do things on their own doesn’t mean that you love them less; it means you love them more.

9) Pushing trends on kids
Let kids be kids. Parents shouldn’t push their trends or adult outlook on life on their kids. Just because it was your life’s dream to marry a rich guy doesn’t mean we need to see your 4-year-old daughter in a “Future Trophy Wife” t-shirt. The same goes for the double ear piercing—that’s what you want, not them. Teaching kids about your passions is great, but let them grow up to be who they are. And yes, this goes for you pathetic stage parents as well. It’s hard enough for kids to figure out who they are in the world without you trying to turn them into what you couldn’t be.

10) Not following through
I have trouble with this one sometimes. If you’re telling your kids that they’ll be grounded if they paint the neighbor’s dog one more time, you’d better follow through. Unfortunately, following though on punishments or promises makes your life a little more difficult, but building trust is what’s most important. If you’re not true to your word, your kids will assume anything you say is just talk. Then you have a real problem on your hands. You’ll also end up with kids who don’t trust their parents.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/famil….umentid=8415486