It’s been a while since I’ve gone through my Mommy Burn out Series posts and while recently reading through them, I realised that I hadn’t given an update since the last post was published.
I found the list of 4 goals I had set for myself and decided that now was a good time to update you all on my progress. No time like the present, right?
1.Make a daily schedule that covers everything that needs to be done daily (including quiet/me time and couple time with hubby).
I haven’t made a daily schedule, but we do have a routine for school and a timetable for extra murals that has helped quite a bit. We have a routine that worked well for us, however, with the change of our curriculum, we are finding it difficult to get into a new routine with this curriculum. Papa Steve and I are getting more alone time. Fitting this in though has proven to be more difficult than we expected. We now make a point of having at least date night a month.
2.Getting my drivers license. I have never had one, I don’t drive and because of that I don’t have as much independence as I’d like/need. Though I have a means of getting around when I need to, I can’t just leave the house on an impromptu outing. I’m almost ready to take my drivers test *eeeeek*
No, I still don’t have my license. Yes I know what you are thinking, but seriously, the thought of actually going on this test has caused me more anxiety than its worth, in my opinion. Thankfully Uber has made my life so much easier and made me less dependent on family and friends.
3.Joining a moms group. This will help me get out of the house and make friends. Because I don’t have my license, its difficult to get together with girl friends to maintain the friendships. Though my children have friends, I don’t. Being an introvert, its easy to keep to oneself but it has huge drawbacks, not only on myself, but my children too.
I haven’t joined a moms group, however, since Fifi and Pixie have started dancing, I have made many new friends. The kidlets have also joined 2 homeschooling co-ops and, thanks to Uber, we are now more social than ever, so much so that I now relish the time we are home and it’s quiet.
4.Have weekly ME TIME. This is non negotiable. I need to learn to let go and let hubby take the parenting lead when he is home. By doing that, I’m not relinquishing my parenting duties, I’m just sharing them. This one is particularly hard for me as I have been going at it by myself for almost 13 years and acting like a single parent even though he has been at my side for the last 9 years. Cutting those apron strings, or umbilical cord as he calls it, is probably the most difficult thing I’ve had to do thus far. I always find a reason to have at least one child with me if I go out for the day.
We have quiet time every day, even if it’s just an hour. Koko and Pixie are in their bedrooms, with doors closed, playing quietly. Pixie is in my bedroom either playing quietly or building a puzzle. The key word here is QUIETLY. On weekends, once a month, I take an afternoon for myself, by myself, all alone. The first time I did this, I felt out of place and didn’t know what to do with myself. I usually go to the local mall, buy a magazine, or two, and go sit at a coffee shop for lunch and read the entire magazine. I love window shopping and can walk around the mall for hours, buying nothing but a bottle of water.
This has made a big difference in my peace of mind and Papa has been so supportive in me finding myself again. I couldn’t have done this without his urging and support. I have started a new blog, called “Getting Me Back“, for exactly that and my journey back to myself.
Mommy Burn Out is real and we need to make sure that we, as mothers, need to take care of ourselves and show our children that we are worth being looked after. Remember, you teach others how to treat you. How can we expect our children, family and friends to respect and care for us, if we don’t respect and care for ourselves. Easier said than done? No?